If you were rejoicing over a positive pregnancy test just weeks or months ago, coping with a sudden and unexpected miscarriage can be difficult. Even though you never saw your baby (except, perhaps, on ultrasound), you knew that he was growing inside you (and you may have even formed a bond). You may have daydreamed about your baby and imagined yourself as a mother. And then, all the excitement abruptly came to a stop.
Understandably, you may feel a range of emotions: sad and disheartened over the loss, angry and resentful it happened to you, possibly withdrawn from friends and family (especially those who are pregnant or just had babies). You may have trouble eating and sleeping at first and accepting the finality of it all. You may cry a lot, or you may not cry at all. These are all among the many natural, healthy responses to a pregnancy loss. Remember: Your reaction is what’s normal for you.
Feeling in the dark about what happened, what to expect and what your next steps should be can make the situation even tougher. But keeping your partner and health care practitioner in the loop about what you're going through physically and emotionally can help you through this time.

What is Miscarriage?

A miscarriage is when an embryo is expelled from the uterus before it can survive outside on its own. Often, the first sign this is happening is heavy bleeding accompanied by abdominal or back pain and cramping. Depending on how far along your pregnancy was, these symptoms can last for just a few days — like a normal period — or up to three or four weeks. If you experience any of these symptoms, see your midwife so he or she can diagnose the miscarriage and help you with the next steps.

Miscarriage is the natural loss of a pregnancy before 20 weeks. It occurs in 10 to 20 percent of all known pregnancies and most often before the 13th week.
The experience of a miscarriage can vary by the cause and timing of the loss. Those that occur in early pregnancy can be quite different from those in the second or third trimester. It some cases, it can happen almost invisibly as with so-called missed miscarriages which have no outward symptoms.

The First Trimester Miscarriage
In most first trimester miscarriages, the embryo or fetus stops developing early on. The woman's body will recognize that the pregnancy is no longer viable and begins to shed the uterine lining. This is the process that causes the tell-tale signs of miscarriage, namely cramping and vaginal bleeding.
Not all women will have these symptoms or experience them as profoundly. Some women will a  lot of severe cramping and extensive bleeding. In some cases, the bleeding may be mild. Others may experience more subtle signs, such as the sudden loss of morning sickness or breast tenderness. For others still, weeks may pass before any signs or symptoms appear.
If pregnancy loss occurs during the first trimester, an ultrasound and/or blood tests may be used to confirm the diagnosis. Depending on the timing or cause, the woman may choose to complete the miscarriage naturally or seek assistance in the form of medications or a surgical procedure called dilation and curettage (D&C). Calling your midwife may guide you in making the right decision.

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What happens next
By the time you learn that you had a miscarriage or ever see a midwife, the process might be mostly over (the physical part at least) or not even begun. If you suspect a miscarriage, see your practitioner right away. She will confirm the miscarriage using an ultrasound to check if the pregnancy is growing normally or whether there’s a heartbeat, and possibly perform a pelvic exam to see if your cervix is dilated. Your midwife may also draw blood to check your hCG levels, your blood count (to determine how much blood was lost), and your blood type (to check for Rh incompatibility).
If your blood type is Rh negative, you may also receive a shot of Rh immunoglobulin (it’s possible for your blood to come into contact with fetal blood cells during a miscarriage — and this shot can prevent serious problems in later pregnancies).

The Threatened Miscarriage
In most miscarriages, the baby's heart will have stopped beating before the outward symptoms of miscarriage appear. However, in some cases, vaginal bleeding will occur when the heartbeat is still detectable and the cervix is still closed. This is called a threatened miscarriage.
In most cases, the bleeding will stop and the pregnancy will remain viable. In others, the threatened miscarriage will end in a loss. There is really no way to predict the outcome. While some doctors will recommend rest and the avoidance of sex, exercise, tampons, and heavy lifting, there is little evidence that this helps.
As with pregnancy itself, there’s often little rhyme or reason as to why some threatened miscarriages end in loss and others remain viable to term.

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The Second Trimester Miscarriage
Early second trimester miscarriages are treated in much the same way as the first. However, as the fetus will be further along in its development, the loss will typically be confirmed by the lack of a fetal heartbeat.
The causes of miscarriage in the second term can include cervical insufficiency (the premature dilation of the cervix) or preterm labor (also known as premature birth).
With cervical insufficiency (also known as an incompetent cervix), the baby is born too early to survive. Doctors can sometimes delay or prevent delivery with a cervical cerclage (a stitch used to hold the cervix closed), but only if the condition is detected early.
With preterm labor, doctors can sometimes halt the process with anti-contraction medications and bed rest if, again, the signs are spotted early.
Pregnancy loss in the second trimester can also be the result of maternal infection (bacterial vaginosis, amniotic infection), congenital conditions (uterine malformation), uncontrolled chronic illness (diabetes, hypertension), or placental problems (placental abruption, placenta previa).
Meanwhile, pregnancy loss after 20 weeks is considered a stillbirth. In this event, the baby will have died, and the mother will no longer feel any movement. More often than not, the woman will require a D&E rather than having to wait for the process to happen naturally.Again it is important for to woman to call her caregiver so she doesn't have to make these decisions alone. The portion in italics are my additions the the above came from HERE.

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Emptying the uterus
Once the miscarriage had been diagnosed, your uterus will need to be empty so your normal menstrual cycle can resume and you can try to get pregnant again, if you choose to. If your first sign of a miscarriage was heavy bleeding — especially if it was just a few weeks into pregnancy — then it’s possible that the miscarriage was “complete,” meaning all the fetal tissue has already been cleared out of your uterus. But sometimes — especially the later in the first trimester you are — a miscarriage isn’t complete, and parts of the pregnancy remain in the uterus (known as an incomplete miscarriage) that need to be removed.
There are a number of ways this can be accomplished:
•    Expectant management. You may choose to let nature take its course and wait until the pregnancy is naturally expelled. Waiting out a missed or incomplete miscarriage can take anywhere from a few days to, in some cases, three or four weeks before your body takes care of things and you resume normal menstrual cycles.
•    Medication. If there’s no sign of your body expelling the embryo on its own, your health care practitioner might instead give you the option to take miscarriage medications — usually  misoprostol — (or your midwife may have some natural alternatives to using drugs.) to help speed things along. Within a few days of taking a pill or receiving a vaginal suppository, you’ll start to expel fetal tissue and placenta. Just how long this takes varies from woman to woman, but typically it’s only a matter of days at the most before bleeding begins. These medications cause some of the same side effects that you might have experienced when you were just letting nature take its course: cramping, bleeding, nausea and diarrhea.
•    Surgery. Another option is to undergo a minor surgery called dilation and curettage (D&C). During this procedure, a doctor will gently scrape the fetus and placenta from your uterus. Bleeding following the procedure usually lasts no more than a week. Though side effects are rare, there is a slight risk of infection following a D&C.
How should you decide which route to take? Some factors you and your practitioner will take into account include:
•    How far along the miscarriage is. If bleeding and cramping are already heavy, the miscarriage is probably already well under way. In that case, allowing it to progress naturally may be preferable to a D&C. But if there is no bleeding (as in a missed miscarriage), misoprostol or a D&C might be better alternatives.
•    Your emotional and physical state. Waiting for a natural miscarriage to occur after a fetus has died in utero can be psychologically debilitating for a woman and her spouse or partner, if she has one. It’s likely that you won’t be able to begin coming to terms with — and grieving for — your loss while you're still pregnant. Completing the process faster will also allow you to resume your menstrual cycles soon, and when and if the time is right, try to conceive again.
•    Risks and benefits. Because a D&C is invasive, it carries a slightly higher (though still very low) risk of infection. The benefit of having a miscarriage complete sooner, however, may greatly outweigh that small risk for most women. With a naturally occurring miscarriage, there is also the risk that it won’t completely empty the uterus, in which case a D&C may be necessary to finish what nature has started.
•    Evaluation of the miscarriage. When a D&C is performed, evaluating the cause of miscarriage through an examination of the fetal tissue will be easier.

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Resuming normal activities after a miscarriage
Whether or not you had a surgical procedure to treat your miscarriage, your midwife will let you know when it’s okay resume normal activities (like exercise and sex). While you may be able to get back to your usual routines right away, your practitioner may recommend that you don’t put anything in your vagina (which means abstaining from sex and avoiding using tampons) for two weeks to avoid infection. Make sure to see your health care provider for a follow-up appointment a few weeks after your miscarriage.

Complications
Even if your miscarriage progresses naturally and is relatively pain-free, your health care practitioner will likely want to check in with you for a few weeks or months to make sure you don’t develop any complications (don’t worry, these are all very rare). If you keep bleeding for more than seven days, this excessive bleeding can be a sign that there’s still placenta in the uterus, or that you’ve developed an infection. Other signs of an infection can include foul-smelling discharge, fevers, chills and abdominal pain. If your practitioner suspects an infection, he or she will likely treat it with a course of antibiotics. In extremely rare cases, retained products of conception (the technical term for any embryo or placenta left in your uterus) can start abnormally growing and form a type of tumor called a choriocarcinoma.
After a D&C, you’ll also have a slight risk of complications from the surgery. In around 16 percent of first D&Cs women develop scarring, called Asherman’s Syndrome, inside their uterus or around their cervix. It can take a second surgery to get rid of those scars, but luckily, you’ll recover and be able to get pregnant again.

Your emotions after miscarriage:

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The stages of grief
Whenever a pregnancy loss happens, you’re likely to experience many feelings and reactions. Though you can’t wish them away, understanding them will eventually help you come to terms with your loss. Many people who suffer a loss of any type go through a number of steps on their road to emotional healing. These steps are common, though the order in which the first three occur may vary and so, too, may the feelings you experience.
•    Shock and denial. There may be numbness and disbelief, the feeling that “this couldn’t have happened to me.” This is a mental mechanism designed to protect your psyche from the trauma of loss.
•    Guilt and anger. Desperate to pin the blame for such a senseless tragedy on something, you may blame it on yourself (“I must have done something wrong to cause the miscarriage” or “If I’d been happier about the pregnancy, the baby would still be alive.”). Or you may blame others — God, for letting this happen, or your practitioner (even if there is no reason to). You may feel resentful and envious of those around you who are pregnant or who are parents, and even have fleeting feelings of hatred for them.
•    Depression and despair. You may find yourself feeling sad most or all of the time, crying constantly, unable to eat, sleep, be interested in anything or otherwise function. You may also wonder if you’ll never be able to have a healthy baby.
•    Acceptance. Finally, you’ll come to terms with the loss. Keep in mind that this doesn’t mean you’ll forget the loss — just that you’ll be able to accept it and get back to the business of life.

Coping with grief after miscarriage
The grief you're feeling is real — and no matter how early in pregnancy you experienced the loss of a baby, you may feel that loss deeply. Some well-intentioned friends and family may try to minimize the significance of a loss with a “Don’t worry, you can try again,” not realizing that the loss of a baby, no matter when it occurs during a pregnancy, can be devastating. And the fact that there is no possibility of holding the baby, taking a photo, having a funeral and burial — rituals of grieving that can all help offer some closure for parents of stillborn infants — may complicate the recovery process.
Still, if you’ve suffered a miscarriage (or an ectopic or molar pregnancy), it’s important to remember that you have the right to grieve as much — or as little — as you need to. Do this in any way that helps you to heal and eventually move on.
Turn to your partner for support — remember that he or she is mourning the loss of a baby too but may show that grief in a different way. Sharing your feelings openly with each other, rather than trying to protect each other, can help you both heal.
If you're religious, ask your pastor, priest rabbi or spiritual leader for guidance. Perhaps you’ll find closure in a private ceremony with close family members or just you and your partner. Sharing your feelings — through a support group, with a friend or online — with others who experienced a miscarriage can also be a comfort. Ask your practitioner to recommend a therapist or bereavement group to help you through this difficult period.
Since so many women suffer a miscarriage at least once during their reproductive years (at least 10 to 20 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage), you may be surprised to find how many others you know have had the same experience as you but never talked about it with you, or maybe never talked about it at all. (If you don’t feel like sharing your feelings — or don’t feel you need to — don’t. Do only what’s right for you.)

When will you feel normal again?
No matter what you’re feeling — and given your situation, your feelings may be all over the emotional map — give yourself time. Accept that you may always have a place in your heart for the pregnancy you lost, and you may feel sad or down on the anniversary of the due date of your lost baby or on the anniversary of the miscarriage, even years later.
If you find it helps, plan on doing something special at that time — at least for the first year or so — that will be cheering yet allows you to remember: planting some new flowers or a tree, having a quiet picnic in the park or sharing a commemorative dinner with your partner.
While it’s normal to mourn your loss — and important to come to terms with it your way — you should also start to feel gradually better as time passes. If you don’t, or if you have continued trouble coping with everyday life (you’re not eating or sleeping, you’re not able to focus at work, you’re becoming isolated from family and friends) or if you continue to feel very anxious (anxiety following miscarriage has been shown in studies to be even more common than depression is), professional counseling can help you to recover.

Getting pregnant again after a miscarriage
Health care providers used to recommend waiting a number of months before trying to get pregnant again after a miscarriage. They’ve learned, though, that the uterus is remarkably good at recovering from a miscarriage, and most doctors now say it’s okay to try again as soon as you’ve had one normal menstrual cycle. But check with your practitioner about your specific situation — if there’s scarring in your uterus or pieces of placenta left behind, he or she might recommend a longer wait. Even among women who have had four consecutive unexplained pregnancy losses, about 65 percent have a successful next pregnancy that ends in a live birth.
Try to remind yourself that you can — and most likely will — become pregnant again and give birth to a healthy baby. For the vast majority of women, a miscarriage is a one-time event — and actually, an indication of future fertility. this information way brought to you from What to expect.

Miscarriage Jewelry
La Belle Dame's meaningful and heartfelt line of Miscarriage Memorial Jewelry was created to help grieving mothers to heal from the loss of their baby to miscarriage, pregnancy loss and death during infancy. Miscarriage jewelry is the perfect way to reach out to a family member or friend who has lost a baby, to show her that you support her, and understand how important and loved her baby was. Created by a mother who has lost a baby of her own, you can be assured of compassionate customer care and our devotion to detail in honoring the life of a baby gone too soon. 

More emotional and spiritual help here

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Coping With Miscarriage - Memorialize Your Child
Coping with miscarriage emerges from remembering the child, not forgetting him or her. Here are a few suggestions for remembering the short life of a precious child:
•    Name the child. Through this action, the baby becomes an individual person who may be recalled by name.
•    Plant a tree or buy a house plant in remembrance of the child. In this way, a life grows for years in the child's place.
•    Donate to a children's charity in the child's name.
•    Buy a Christmas gift for a needy girl or boy in honor of the miscarried child.
•    Conduct a memorial service and invite close family and friends. Light candles, play music, pray and have each person bring a small token representing their thoughts for the child (like poems, stories, letters, trinkets). Save these gifts in a special memory box or bag.
•    Create a memory album/journal.
•    Talk about the child. Express any feelings and memories about him or her to another person. In this way, others will remember the child and will also become educated about the tragedy that surrounds miscarriage.
•    Pray for the child each day.
•    Attend a support group-a place where the grief process is validated and where children are remembered together.